but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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