i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize