sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
