if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
