I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
