apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
