I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
