doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
smell my finger.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
