he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
operation have a gay friend backfired
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
