The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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