The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
