I got chris browned last night
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
