Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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