I seem to have left my pride at pride
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
