He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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