Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
