a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
