Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
