how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm having to shit out rocks
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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