That's when you crack a 10am beer
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
