What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
