Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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