you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
