I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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