I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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