I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
