Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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