His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
