The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
