walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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