Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
