I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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