It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
