Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize