i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
