problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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