Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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