It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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