Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
