If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
