I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
