talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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