i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
