I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
