I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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