we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
