I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
