Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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