seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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