420 ftw
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
