I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
