she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
