wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize