I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize