i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
