id be glad to
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize