I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
