chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
